I remember a time when you could change your profile name without agreeing to the terms of service agreement. You didn’t tag anyone by using an @ sign and posts had, by far, less hashtags inside of them. I’m talking about the days of Myspace and Myspace Dating. I miss those days. Not because I want to go through the single life once again. As If. I’m talking about the days when website transparency wasn’t a thing. You could put your phone number on your profile and no one fucking called you. Nothing was tracked by the government, they promised, and we could search for new friends instead of liking friends of friends.
I met many of my friends by using Myspace and I wouldn’t trade any of them for the world. Yes, I was one of the many people that browsed through the myspace search pages for people online. I had a few dates off of it and I have a few stories I could tell.
The story I want to tell is very simple. It’s called Myspace Dating. What I am talking about is the original way to tell the world you were dating someone online. Before the “It’s Complicated” and “Working on it” relationship status’s. What makes Myspace dating so hilarious was that people could have very random and unique names. For example, emo kids could have a screen name of Miss Murder or Xo_Stabb_Me_In_The_Heart_Xo. I’m not even kidding. So you would browse a person’s profile and if they were dating someone, it would read as In a relationship with Xo_Stabb_Me_In_The_Heart_Xo. Not Kevin Walker or James Robin. The name showed up as their profile name. Xo_Stabb_Me_In_The_Heart_Xo. This is hilarious to me and it’s also why I miss Myspace dating very much.
The first woman I dated on myspace had a screen name of Miss Murder. No joke. To be fair, a lot of women had that as their screen name. Mostly because the band AFI (A Fire Inside) had a very popular song called Miss Murder. I can tell you that my name on Myspace was one of several. “Parkar Inertial” “Russell Hookah Hands” and “Turbo”. Now that I think of it, I feel bad for my Miss Murder for having in a relationship with Russell Hookah Hands on her profile. At the time I thought I was hip and cool. #EpicFail
Myspace Dating Jokes
Nick Swardson has this awesome joke about your sexual orientation on Myspace. It’s basically about the fact that under your sexual orientation, you could put not sure. Instead of the the usual “Straight”, “Gay” or “Bi-sexual”. It’s pretty hilarious. At least for me.
Myspace Dating got me into Web Design
Myspace dating, to me, got me into beginning Web Design. I was designing Myspace band profiles for bands in the Reno, NV area. I figured out how to do it and I started copying HTML and CSS code. I made it my own and sold it to bands. Let’s be honest. It was mostly replacing images with my own.
I was using myspace to blog about my failures and triumphs in myspace web design. I also blogged about myspace dating. None of the posts are up anymore. I know, I know. A buddy of mine got me to use WordPress to blog instead of the blog on Myspace. Since that day, I’ve been a WordPresser.